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Follow James on the journey of Sanctus over the next 12 months #mentalhealth @sanctus @jd_routledge

In 18 months time I’ll write a blog post titled; “How Sanctus scaled from £1m in revenue to £Xm with love not fear”

I’ll write about how we grew our team whilst protecting our culture. 

I’ll write about how we scaled our number of partners whilst maintaining our high standards of service and meaningful relationships with every person. 

I’ll write about how we grew our coaching team to coach 1000s of people a month safely with love. 

I’ll write about how it was hard, but it was worth it. 

I’ll write about how my role changed and George’s too, about how we hired new people and our current team stepped up. 

I’ll write about how we learned to inspire the team, to motivate and lead our team with love for our mission and purpose, not fear of getting the sack or getting told off.

Yet, I can’t write that blog post right now, because I’m in it. I’m completely in it. I thought I was ready to step back, step back and watch Sanctus grow without me at the helm. I thought we were ready to scale, that all the processes were in place and the business would just motor. 

I thought I could be involved, but not heavily involved - like a master tactician behind the scenes.

We’re currently a team of 14 full time with 31 coaches, 67 partners and ~1000 people every month using our space. We’ll do about £1m in revenue this year. Yet as George and I have been saying a lot recently, we’re still on the pitch, we’re players, managers and club owners still (the football club analogy is working for us right now).

I want us to grow, we want to grow, yet it’s not easy. In fact, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life and it’s hard for every single one of our team members too. 

We’re growing and we’re in this next business phase, a new evolution. In revenue we might say we’re on the path now from 1m-10m or as a team we might say we’re going from 50-100 people (inc coaches). In fact, we’re going from coaching 1000 people every month to aiming to coach 10,000 people every month and more. Whatever path we are on, it may have been well travelled, but we haven’t travelled it before. 

I can’t wait to write that blog post, I know I will, but right now I can’t. I’ve never ever done this before, nobody has, people have done similar, but nobody has done this thing right here with Sanctus. I feel guilty, I feel like I’m getting it wrong, I feel like I can’t do it, like I’m not good enough, like I’ll fail, again. I’m questioning whether it’s me, whether it’s all wrong, whether I’ve missed something. 

I’m having to work really hard at work and really hard on me too to not burn out, to not melt down. I don’t know where I’d be without Sarah, my journal or therapy. 

This isn’t a cry for a help, we know what we’re doing and I know in 12 months time I’ll have a reflective blog post to publish, yet I’m doing what nobody does - im telling you it’s hard now, right now, in this moment. 

I’m not the only founder to feel like this and we’re not the only company to go through this tricky growth phase. 

Yet I might well be one of the few people writing about it. 

James x

p.s one of the reasons I’ve not been writing much is because I’ve felt like I’ve not had much to say. Not sure when I’ll be back, but “hey everyone”x